Loving You, Loving Pain.

I think I'm a masochist. I obviously love pain. I know your scum, I know you'll hurt me. I know that if I gave you my heart, nothing would give you more pleasure than to tear it to shreds and throw it back in my face. You love hurting me, over and over. and I let you. Over and over. Time and time again, I give you my all. When I know too well that you couldn't care less about my feelings, much less me. I keep getting hurt cause I let you do it. I let you get away with it. Perfect crime don't you think? It's my own fault & I know this. But what I want to know is.. What is it about you that makes me come back time after time? Why do I purposely torture myself? Why do I keep putting my heart through that kind of torture, as if putting it up for execution? I must love pain. That's the only explanation I can think of. I think I'm a masochist. I love the pain of your love(or lack there of)

*For goodness sake! when I say masochist, I don mean the sexual interpretation of it la.. jangan la ham sap sangat. And for those of you who aren't to sure what it means, it basically means to love pain.*