Decisions Decisions..

I just realised my last two post were very very emo. (probably why no one reads your blog, cause they don't want to start slicing themselves or lactating) So I'll keep it simple and tell you(whoever 'you' are) about what's been going on.

First off, those of you who know me personally knows I have this fascination for vampires(And now all of you do!) But that doesn't mean I want to look like one. See, one of my canines, or 'The Fang' as I fondly call it, juts out a little and it has made me feel very bad about my smile. I went to the dentist a while ago and asked him about it and he says I would have to wear braces. BRACES!! Now, I'm about to go into shallow blond bimbo mode here so please excuse me. Wtf braces for 2 years! That's my whole diploma course right there! How la, bf coming back I don't him to find out what metal taste like! I admit I'm somewhat of a nerd but I don't want to look like one!(some ppl can make grills work, I'm not one of those ppl trust me) Corey said my smile is fine and unless I'm a perfectionist I shouldn't get it done but the thing is.. I AM a perfectionist! Most have said that I shouldn't waste time, effort, money and pain on just one tooth but I reap benefits later on right? Don't know la, I really need to weight my options carefully. What you guys think? Braces = Yes? No?

Oh, I'm getting rm10,000 of tax payers money thanks to one very freaky incident that involves violence, shisha, the worst limau ice ever, bribery, alot of cursing(in English and Malay) molestation and chocolate brownies.

I cut my hair!(pictures below) The length I had it at before this was probably the longest I've ever had it and it became somewhat of a security blanket cause of the mark the blob's baby left behind and I miss seeing my hair spill over my boobs but blob's baby mark is slowly fading so I figured why not. The ends are all blunt and straight which I kind of like hehe. Another choice I have to make: Do I re-bleach my highlight(cause its grown out quite a bit) or just leave it and colour over the existing one?

Max is home! Finally! He came home a day before my finals and when I trying to read my notes in the car and ignoring him, he stopped the car, grabbed my notes, threw them into the boot and said I would only get them back after we go out and celebrate his great return. We came back at 10pm and I was too exhausted to study properly but thank God the exam was alright. He gifts consisted of 2 boxes. In the big box, there was a dress, necklaces, bracelets, little things here and there(he said if he saw something that reminded him of me he just got it awww!) and enough chocolate and candy that would probably be every sweet tooth's wet dream. I eyed the other box and asked what was in it but he said that was extra special. Inside the box(among other things) were a pair of furry handcuffs that he got from a porn shop.

I stared at them while he grinned widely and said

"For you to use on Ryan."

Upon remembering that Senpai isn't here, he said,

"Darn! No worries you can use them on me in the meantime."

Lines like that can only come from his mouth. He also got me an assortment of flavoured, glow in the dark and printed condoms, a whip(the one thing I actually find kind of cool) edible underwear, some edible lubricant thingy and a key chain sized vibrator. He actually admitted feeling dumb buying this stuff for a virgin but according to him "Hey! you never know when your gonna need them, might as well be prepared what." Sigh.. Welcome home Max.

Caleb told me to blog about how incredible and awesome and hot he is but I told him I couldn't deceive my readers. But do not fret, for he is not completely hopeless. He happens to be quite the charming and easy to approach, once you get passed that stench of pessimism he has wafting from his being. He might sleep during church service but hey at least his honest about it. I adore his sarcasm cause it's witty, something which is SEVERELY lacking in the sarcasm of Malaysian youths. He has the whole emo geek look going on but he hates emo's. His one of the very few that I know that know who Shiny Toy Guns are. His mission in life(or so I gather) is to marry Hebe, the H in S.H.E. Don't let the blurness fool you, there's actually alot of kepintaran and kesabaran under all that hair. He actually manage to layan and take care of me while I was extremely ku-ku at the farewell pot bless we had for Pastor John. Why so hyper? After not sleeping for 24 hours and running up and down cause of my presentation who WOULDN'T be that ku-ku? But anyone who can do that has PLENTY of patience in my book. So yea, his a pretty good guy although humble he is not lol. Happy with you review Caleb? He just asked me to hang with him and his 2 Swedish friends that are coming down(Please Lord, let them be hunks and not look as geeky as Caleb does pleaseandthankyoumuaxs!) Haha don't worry Caleb, I'll still hang with you guys even if they DO look like you, I'm not that shallow unlike someone who'll laugh at me if I get braces. Grr.

Very sorry for the full-of-myself, highly bimbo-fied post. Take care's!

Blunt and straight.

What's left of my highlight.

Bliss Coming To An End.

I knew this bliss would not last. It was too good to believe, too many good things happening in one never ending sequence. Call me pessimistic but it's the truth isn't it? Everything is slowly beginning to unravel. The mistake I made was that I dared to hope and wish and want. I got lost in all the the shimmer and warmth of it all that I started floating. It's hard to become grounded once you know what walking on air feels like. Even in the faraway tree, each land was only there for a day, then it moved on. Guess this is where I get off then. I'm watching everything dissolve slowly like it was never there to begin with. What kills is that I have nothing of that bliss hold on to. It's going to turn into a memory, just like all past bliss. I don't want to fall into that spiral again. I refuse to second guess myself, refuse to defend those who don't deserve to be defended. I knew this bliss would not last, but this time I'm gonna make sure it doesn't disappear completely. I'm so familiar with this phase that I can see the warning signs from miles away. I know from here on out it's not going to get any better. But I'm going to grasp for what I can. And for once, I don't regret getting lost in the bliss and I'm going to miss it when its gone.

No wait, I take that back. I'm going to hold on to whatever bliss I have left, then use that as the foundation in building up bliss of my own, a constant stream of it that won't dissolve away over time.

Please Dear Lord, please don't let this be a repeat of last year's Christmas.

Issues.

Dedicated to My Chicka From Sabah, Nicoleeeeeee.
You leave me drained. Your all over the place. One minute we're goofing around, the next we're screaming at each other. As cliche as this sounds, you fit that Katy Perry's hot and cold song to a T. Just make up your mind so I can make up my own. I hate that I'm this into you and I love that your always on my mind. But this shit is pure torture. I'm stuck between here and there and let me tell you something, it's pretty fucking boring. Do you want me? Do you hate me? Do you want to be friends? Or do you want more? Am I one of the many of exotic fish in your sea, or am I the only and only bitch that rocks your world? You don't know? Not sure? Fine then, you take your time and figure it out. When or if you do, then I'll be over there.(yeah, I'm sick of being stuck) It's your turn to get stuck. So enjoy the in between, it has awesome reception and there's bingo night every Friday. See you when you decide to decide.

I used to think problems related to trust only happened between couples. Turns out it happens between friends too. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, let me once again explain me self.

Dear Mr. Pushing Boundaries,

Let me explain once again why I am the way I am. See, I grew up with my aunt and mum. My 'friends' consisted of uncles and aunties from church, with the exception of that girl whose name I can't remember and Charles who was the childhood sweetheart(all the adults thought we were so cute together) and whom I was sure I would marry.(I even had my wedding shoes picked out) I hated primary school cause I didn't fit. I always thought of them as immature and couldn't understand why. I didn't even fit in church. I was called a nerd because I actually PRAYED and I wasn't like the other mini bimbo's or soon to be he-bitches pipsqueaks.

Look, I guess your right. I do have trust issues, I have a wall up. But you knew that when you met me didn't you now? I mean, that's why I don't say I love you to anyone and why it took me 2 years just to say it to my BEST friend. Why it took me YEAR to realise that I even liked Ryan. I'm not deliberately trying to hurt you but this is me. I'm not used to telling my close best friend everything because I didn't have a best friend growing up. I kept things to myself and that's a skill I perfected over the years. Frankly I don't even trust my college mates(except for one Chinese babe in glasses and that's because she trusts me. It's a matter of returning respect) but there you go. I DO tell you things but you can't expect EVERYTHING can you? I'm tired of explaining myself so now I'll say this: If you think I'm a bitch for keeping certain things to myself then I can't change that. And after the stunt you pulled.. You say you care for me but you never think OF me. You seem to assume that I'll forgive you for your screwup's. I'll always be there when you get drunk to make sure your okay. You seem to forget that I might wanna let loose too. Time and time again you abuse the faith I have in you because YOU have faith that I'll never stop having faith in you. Confused? Good. Stop testing your boundaries before you lose it all. You keep proving me wrong and I'm finding it hard to think of reasons why I should have so much blind faith in you. I can't give you anymore blindness. Concern is beginning to feel like obligation and I hate feeling that way but I'm too tired, too drained to care. I forgive you but for the 1st time.. You've lost a little of my faith in you. And frankly, I don't know how your going to get it back, or if you ever will.

Taggie Waggie

THE SELF
[01] Real name: Pauline Sarah Fernandez
[02] Nickname: P.B.H.S, P.H.P, Dragonfly, Peekaboo, Little Miss, Precious, Mori-Chan.
[03] Married: Nope
[04] Zodiac Sign: I be a Virgo.
[05] Gender: Female
[06] Age: 18
[07] High school: SMK USJ Lapan.
[08] College: Inti College Subang Jaya
[09] Height: Somewhat tall
[10] Weight: fat
[11] Do you like yourself: I have my moments.
[12] Piercings: Ears only
[13] Right or left: 3 lubang's each ear.
[14] Are you a freak: Depends on you definition.
[15] Hair: Black with a patch of some shade of pink.
[16] Skin: Dark
[17] Allergic: To certain smells like insect spray and selected perfumes.
[18] What are you doing now: Chatting with Caleb, Kish & Adel, uploading anime, listening to Kevin Rudolph and Powerspace and planning someone's birthday surprise(quite the multi-tasker aren't I?)
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: Enjoying some awesome food made by someone awesome.
[20] What will you do 10 years later: Hopefully living my life and dreams with someone I love. With maybe 1 or 2 mini me's. Or traveling.
[21] Live with: Family
[22] Siblings(included you): Just little ol' me
[23] Eldest: ME!
[24] Youngest: Me!
[25] Love/hate your family: Love most of the time.

THE LOVE
[26] You found your other half: I think so.=)
[27] If yes, who is he/she: His my Senpai.
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: -
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: A relationship relationship? hmm.. 4.
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): Not intentionally.
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): Yes.
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: Yes.
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: Taking to long to realise what he means to me.
[34] Ever argue with your other half: Haha, yes.
[35] You with your other half since: We celebrated our 1st year anniversary 2 weeks ago. omg.. it's been a year already?
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: Straight as a stick insect.
[37] Reasons you love your other half: Because he loves me for me, stubborn-ness and all. I feel safe around him and he understands me at a level most don't.
[38] You and your other half in which stage: How many stages are there?
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: This tag uses bad England. HE woo ME
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: Now, aren't we getting a WEE bit ahead of ourselves..

THE FRIENDS
[41] Your first best friend: His name was Charles. We met in church in Kluang. We ended up being childhood sweethearts lol.
[42] Your first enemy: Some mean girl wannabe in standard 1.
[43] The friend you love the most(1 only): Kishor Rajendren!
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1 only): Her name starts with J
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: All of em'
[46] Your most handsome boy friend: Hmm.. There are a few. Aljer, Fitz, Caleb & Bryan, Christoper, Aaren..
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: Fakers. Hypocrites. Back stabbers. In one word: Bitches.
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: Self involved ego maniacs
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: Nope.
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: Nope.
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: I'd ask them about it.
[52] If your friend betray you: I'd be hurt and I'll them that.
[53] If your friend woo your lover: None of my friends are like that. Those that have tried weren't my friends to begin with and failed miserably.
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: I'd definitely freak.
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: Haha, all hell will break loose.

THE STUDIES
[56] Are you a good student: I like to believe so. Judging from my grades, I think I'm doing pretty good.
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Unfortunately most of this sem has been last minute shit.
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Pn. Chua! My fave teacher for my Fav subject. Science!
[59] Always late to school/college: If I know I'm gonna be late, then I don't come at all. I don't like being late.
[60] Your class: ENL 126, COM 118 and COM 116
[61] You like your seniors: A few yea sure.
[62] Seniors who you like the most: Kaze and Atiqah
[63] Your classmates good/bad: An equal balance of both.
[64] Excellent result classmate: Xing Yi!
[65] Laziest classmate: That would be.. The whole freaking class, YoursTruly included.
[66] Smart people: Kish, Ryan, Sasha..
[67] Stupid people: No one's stupid.
[68] Good looking people: Aiden, Ryan, Melissa, Tasha, Adel, Darren..
[69] Ugly people: People with ugly personalities are the fugliest.
[70] Funny people: My course mates, LSM, Michelle R, Fitz, Kishy-kins, Daddy-kins
[71] Cute people: FITZ! Adzley, Wei Hoong, Christin..
[72] Bad people: -
[73] Honest people: Kishy-kins, Michelle R, LSM.
[74] Acting people: -
[75] You are what kind of people: Again with the bad England. I is stubborn & ku-ku kind of people..

THE PREFER
[76] Lip or eyes: Eyes
[77] Hugs or kisses: Both.
[78] Shorter or taller: TALLER
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach
[81] Listener or Talker: Both.
[82] Romantic or rich: Romantic
[83] Good husband or good father: Good Husband & Father

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: 25 and above.
[85] Numbers of kid(s): 2. max
[86] Career: We'll see.
[87] Salary: Like Christin: six figures. Aim high!
[88] Retirement age: Donno.
[89] Properties value: Again, getting ahead of ourselves aren't we?
[90] Wishes: To be of sane mind.

THE VICTIMS
I shall be a saint and say no one!

A Family Outing(DMC Horny Style)

"It must be Monday. It's cold... it's dreary... it's raining... even inside the house" Garfield and I share the same woes.

Hello. So, contrary to what you might believe I have not been out attending wild, night long orgies or stoning to kingdom come. I've just been really lazy and frankly I don't know who reads my blog anymore so I didn't see the point. Anywho, today was quite the eventful day. As a rule, I hate Monday's, I don care if it's going to be the day I get 50million dollars I'm still gonna hate it as a matter of principal. So I was stoning in English class when Christin decided to drug me with some weird sweet of hers. I can't really remember much of what I said or did, I just remember I kept trying to convince everyone I was alright and they seem to think I O.D-ed on something. We went to watch Eagle Eye and thanks to Mr. Fast and Furious zoom zoom Daniel we were only like 15 minutes late for class. Thanks Daniel! So here's pictures. Enjoy now.

*flips hair in the wind*

vroom vroom!

Later that day..

And here are a few from my birthday, pre-drunkenness.

And post-drunkenness..

Yes, I do realise I look like I'm grabbing her boobies. Rest of post-drunk photos have not been added because it may not be suitable for minor, or the general fact that the writer is behaving entirely out of character.. Anywho, I enjoyed my 18th. My 1st time drunk! Toodles!

Updates & pics from my birthday, college and Michelle's 19th coming soon me promises!

Tagged By Christin Without The E

She Say's,
1. Is anything wrong?
- I'm cliche. I say no but it probably means yes.

2. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
- Yup Yup.

3. Do you want to go to college?
- 1st sem baby!

4. How many kids do you want to have?
- Two. I don't want a football team thank you.

5. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- Yes.

6. What did you do for your last birthday?
- I was having trials. Celebrated in class.

7. What were you doing at midnight last night?
- Talking to Michelle.

8. Name something you cannot wait for?
- My birthday. A new phone?

10. What is one thing you would change in your life?
- Nothing. I love it as is.(I told you I was cliche)

12. Last thing you ate/drank?
- Toast and scramble eggs with coffee.

13. Whats your favorite month?
- December!

14. What is your least favorite month?
- June/July

15. Do you like peanut butter?
- Yumm..

16. Who's making you feel the way you are right now?
- Myself.

17. Most visited web pages?
- Facebook & Youtube

18. Last person to make you mad?
- Aiden that arse.

19. Pepsi or coke?
- Pepsi

20. Have you hugged anyone in the past week?
- I'm P.B.H.S. How can I NOT hug anyone?

21. Fun thing to look forward to this week?
- Going out with my friends for my birthday!

22. What do you think about your siblings?
- I'll tell you if I get any.

24. Whats your favorite number(s)?
- 13..

25. What do you do after school/college?
- Rush to work(last week!)

26. Do you know how to swim?
- Yup yup.

27. Where were you born?
- Kluang.

28. Do you have a crush?
- Haha.. no.


FRIEND CONFESSIONS
1. Are you jealous of one or more of your friends?
- I don't think so..

2. Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
- A few

3. Are any of your friends taller than you?
- YES THANK GOD!!

4. Have you ever been ditched by a friend?
- Grr yea..

5. Do you have your friend's phone number's memorized?
- A few here and there.

6. Have you lost or forgotten a friend's phone number?
- Aha.

7. Have you been to most of your friends houses?
- Me thinks so.

8. Do you love most of your friends?
- Haha that's a tough one.. Only a select few. I adore the rest.


HABIT CONFESSIONS
1. Do you play with things when nervous?
- Yup yup.

2. Do you have an odd obsession with knives?
- Not really knives.. Scissors yes.

3. Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
-Closed.

4. Is there at least one sound you can't stand?
- I have a few.

5. What is your worst habit?
- Being too stubborn.


LOVE CONFESSIONS
1. Do you currently like/love someone?
-I'm not sure.

2. Do you want to kill one of your exes?
-Just one.

4. Has one of your crushes ever called you self centered before?
- Am I now?


PERSONAL OPINION CONFESSIONS
1. Do you think abortions are horrible?
-Honestly only if there's an absolutely valid reason.

2. Are you against or think gay marriage is bad?
- As long as their happy. Who am I to judge?

3. Is pink an ugly color?
- Neon pink can make eyes bleed. The rest are alright.

4. Needles aren't so horrible?
-No, not at all. But can sting.

5. You have plenty of secrets?
- More than thought possible.


HAVE YOU EVER CONFESSIONS
1. Have you ever fallen UP the stairs?
- Haha! Plenty of times.

2. Have you ever had a nail fall off?
- That sounds PAINFUL!

3.Have you ever slapped someone across the face?
- Yes and I don't regret it one bit.

I Tag ;
Well now, I can't think of anyone to tag except maybe... Corey? Yea, I tag Corey-kins.

Okay so I don't really see the point in posting this cause I doubt anyone would actually read this and buy me any of these for my birthday but Fitz asked me to do it anyway to make peoples lives easier and I listen to Fitz cause his my cuddly puppy. So here it is:

1. T-shirts! the funkier the better. And I'm in need of them.

2. Undies. Especially those from Topshop. Lacy or funky with cartoon characters doesn't matter, me lovesssss.(I wear size 8 or 10. Yes I have a big bum haizzzzz.)

3. Music:
Flobots ~ Fight With Tools.
The Script ~ Self Tittled.
Disco Ensemble ~ Magic Recoveries.
Coldplay ~ Viva La Vida.
Robin Thicke ~ Beautiful World.

4. Books:
The Complete Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales.
The Complete Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson.
The Vampire Lestat by Ann Rice
The Queen Of The Damned by Ann Rice.
The Magic Faraway Tree Series by Enid Blyton(Got 3 in 1 kinda thingy)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

5. Bracelets(I happen to be very fond of bracelets bet you didn't know that muahaha)

6. Bag.

6. Oh oh! That cute cassette necklace from DIVA. The plain one not the colourful colourful one.

7. stainless steel jewelry?

Yespleasethankyoumuaks!

The Wind, Clouds & Rain.

NOTE: This isn't my usual fiction. That's cause it isn't.

Life's too short to wait for a buddy to play in the rain with. Memo to self: You see rain, you run straight into it. Spin around, jump and dance, just like you used to.

Dear Rain, Please come back and play again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love that short period just before a heavy rain. When the winds blow so hard. The cold gives you goosebumps but it feels so good against you skin. You watch, watch everything move against it, move with it. It seems so turbulent, the wind making it seem so chaotic out there and yet.. you've never felt more at peace. To stand at the balcony, delicious shivers riding down your back. You stand in an atmosphere so cold, but you've never felt more warm, the comfort coursing through you like you were sitting by a fireplace. You see everything around you move so fast, yet you feel like your in slow motion. Standing on a plane of here and there, standing within the real world but you still feel like you watching from somewhere else, from another universe. Everything disappears during these moments. Nothing else matters, nothing is more important than savouring the wind blowing through your hair, whispering in your ear. It's these moments I wish would never end, it's these moments I wished I had more of, it's these moments I wish I could share, it's these moments I cherish, long for, desire. I wish I could describe it better here, for you all to relive within your imagination. I love the moments before a heavy rain. The moments when the wind is King.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clouds see everything. They travel the world, see it all. The marvelous, the glorious, the morbid, the gruesome. The joy, the peace, the tears, the rage. They see things we will go our whole lives not knowing about. They experience everything about a situation, because they were there. They truly know where the end of the rainbow is. They are never alone, never stray. Their there for you, no matter what happens. They offer comfort just by being what they are. I wish could be able to see what they see, to experience the world the way the clouds do.

I miss feeling the rain playing on my skin. I miss feeling it soaking through my clothes, and feel as if it's soaking through my skin as well. I miss feeling as if I was in a whole new world. The rain comforts me. I love the rain.

The Morning Perv.

A few days ago, actually I think it was last week, I slept VERY late. Now, as most of you know, no matter how late I sleep I STILL wake up latest by 10am which isn't very late at all. It's the way my body clock works after 11 years of waking up early for school. But this particular day I was uber tired and told my body clock to go and die and went to sleep, not expecting to see the sun until 1 in the afternoon God willing. But that didn't happen.

At 8 in the freaking morning my house phone rings. And its ring is annoying. So I go and answer the thing and my phone has caller ID and I see whoever the hell is calling me is doing so on a 012 number. Its this malay dude who asks if this is a house or office. I say house. He then proceeds to say that he is from Maybank and their doing a survey on teens which I know is bull cause if you were from Maybank you wouldn't be calling from your hand phone. So instead of putting down the phone(which is what I normally do, I promise) I decided to indulge this fool who dared wake me from my much deserved rest. I was in one of those mischievous moods. He asked the usual crap: name, age, height and and what not. He even asked me if I'm attractive.=_= I said well, I wouldn't say attractive but then again, I wouldn't call myself ugly now would I? Then he says "oh by your sexy voice(it was all deep and husky and purr-in-your-ear like) I'm guessing you just woke up right?" My head answered "no shit." I just said "mm." I mean duh! My voice was a gravel pit! Anywho, he then asks who else in the house I say mummy and the boyfriend. Fact was, the only person in the house was me and mr. mooable's who is a white mini cow. He also asks if I'm chinese. I say I'm indian he compliments me saying "Wah! Your malay so chun huh.."(this whole conversation was in malay btw) I reply him saying "Org-nya Malaysia takkan tak pandai cakap Melayu." He liked my sense of humour. Oh joy.

Then came the interesting part. He says that his going to go into the more 'personal' part of the questionnaire. Fine. He asked me if I prefer to wear dark or light coloured underwear. When I asked him what does my bra colour have to with anything he says its to see how mature you are. What? Dark undies= Mature? So early in the morning you ask me to deal with a perv. yao mou gao cuo ah! Damn wtf I tell you. But if you ask me stupid question I give you stupid answer. I said "ha! I dark also got, light also got, multi coloured also got!" He finally asks me the most delicious question ever to hear that early in the morning. He asked me if I was a virgin. I put on my best bimbo voice, even popped my hip(to get into character you could say) and said "Oh well, I don't know! Maybe you should ask my boyfriend." I call out "Sayang! come answer this question for me! For Maybank one!" The dude started shouting "Jangan jangan alamak!!!!" then puts down the phone. I scared the living daylights out of him. I felt as contented as I would have if I had gotten my sleep. Fitz says this is a clue to what a grumpy old lady I would be, taking pleasure in making those who made me miserable miserable. I replied him saying:

"Aww.. You mean I have to wait that long to do something that fun again? Darn."
LoL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There are some things I'd like to say. Observations I'd like to share. But I can't to most. It's something I can only talk to Sher-Maine about. Not because she's the best friend, but because she's the only one who won't think I'm a demented looney toon. Cause she has the same thoughts."

"It's like air milo already okay! Ever since I got back! Buhuhuhu!" Lee Sher-Maine.

For Mr. Brightside & The June Jinx.

Yellow. You know, when I was in form four, I was convinced that I had this May/June jinx because I noticed that I always get into some sort of mishap between these months. To prove my point:

Form 1: Fractured my arm in 2 places.
Form 2: Denggi scare. It was the fever from Hades.
Form 3: Sprained my ankle really badly cause I fell on in at a bad angle. Twice.
Form 4: A nasty case of Herpes(no, not the STD kind) AND fell of the top of a ladder hurting my lower back badly.
Form 5: A nasty case of Rubella that made Leprosy look like the latest fashion trend.

And I've already filled my quota for this year. How you ask? Well, last Friday I had to stay over at Aljer's place. We almost kena kantoi cause he started crying and I hugged him and we were hugging in the middle of the street in the middle of the night when a RELA van passed us by, shooting us evil looks. But come to think of it, trying to explain it would have been... hilarious. Anywho, the next day I had to cover for Putra so had to do full. I got up and went to shower. That's when Aljer's shower decided to attack me. It was working just fine one minute and the next, this blast of boiling hot water hits my chest. The aftermath of that left me with alot of itchy pain and this..


You know that old school Hollywood movie about the blob that ate everything in its path? This is where it originated from. =_=

I freaking got scalded. SCALDED. I called aunty to ask her what to do and she said I had to wait for the boil/bubble to burst. So I spent the whole day at work wiping goo(puss) off me. And I kept flashing my boobs at Bee(boobs at Bee..*snort snort*) cause she'd check on it for me from time to time. Thanks for the help and not cringing in disgust babe. But looking on the bright side of this dismal situation, my wit and sarcasm was working on overdrive. And I also got alot of funny situations out of it such as..

*Fitz and YoursTruly chatting while waiting for Aiden by the gate*
Fitz: Yea, then she said it was cute so I -*notices the blob's baby* OMFG! What the hell happened??
YoursTruly: Huh? oh.. that..
*Fitz continues to stare at it and even tries touching it. Aiden come out and sees us*
Aiden: OI! WTF ARE YOU STARING AT? TU ORG PUNYA GF LA BABI!
*Aiden marches up ready to whack Fitz on Ryan's behalf. He then notices what Fitz was staring at. He in turn stares as well*
Aiden: What happened??
YoursTruly: Oi, can you both quit staring at my boobs kah? =_=''
*Both snaps out of it and stares elsewhere, blushing furiously*
Both: *Ahem ahem*

Something happened in church yesterday. I had a bad case of verbal diarrhea with Michelle Cheong's mum. But it was.. a breakthrough of sorts. I don't know how it happened. I wasn't planning on telling her about everything that was wrong, wasn't planning on telling her about ANYTHING that was wrong. Aiden said it was God's doing. Probably was. I let everything just flow out of me. I've never felt so light in so long. And it was the first time in a long time that I felt God around me. I guess you could say I was stuck in house with a power outage. I knew the lights would come back eventually, but in the meantime I was just gonna wait for it. I felt so horrible cause here I was, about to be made the treasurer and projects coordinator for our youth, thus making me the biggest hypocrite, thus making me feel even more horrible. So I thank God that the lights came back on in the nick of time.

It's Putra's last week!*sob sob* His dad's making him go back. So this Sunday is his last day! I'm gonna miss his curly hair and the fact he shared my brit music fetish and put up with my long winded-ness and I'm gonna miss that swagger he has and watching his New Zealand friend act ku-ku(that's an understatement) via webcam. His my rojak 'tak nak timun tambah extra cracker' kaki! I'm gonna usik his hair kau kau this week while I still can. Oh, and I'm his 'sifu' cause I thought him how to use facebook. Now his hooked. =) These are the pics from his birthday which we celebrated at Tower a while back. May 10th. I didn't know and Bee sent the msg to buy him a cake from JUSCO. I got the msg when I was ten steps away from Tower, just came back from JUSCO. =_= But Putra didn't suspect a thing!




Hantu Chia Lay....

And you know the best thing about Putra? He takes all jokes with a good laugh. So that's why his not gonna kill me if I post up the pictures of him I took when he was sick.. and asleep.
*snicker snicker snort snort wakakaka*


Hata tried channeling his inner rooster also cannot wake him up. Kesian Putra demam.

I'll mish you Mr. Brightside! Memo to self: start camwhoring with Putra.

Truth Untold.

Okay so 1st off, a disclaimer: this is a VERY long post. But PLEASE bare with me cause this IS the ending(no pitchforks and angry villagers please!) and there is alot to explain, loose ends that need to be tied up. And again, for refreshments please go HERE for part 1 and HERE for part 2. Please comment alright? Enjoy!

Two hours in. Alexis body had been taken away, leaving a pool of crimson blood, a violent contrast to the bone white marble floor of the grand ballroom. No one was allowed to leave. Letting them go would mean letting the murderer go free. This entire incident came as a shock to the community, common or otherwise. This event was filled with the best of blue bloods. The finest lords and most elegant ladies. It dumbfounded everyone that one of them was actually capable of murder. Frankly, they thought these people would be too scared to do something this.. courageous. It took guts to kill someone. Clarice had stopped her theatrical bawling and reduced it to a soft sob. Honestly, she couldn't possibly have known Alexis THAT well now could she? It seemed so fake. Like she was covering for something. It seemed..suspicious. Then there was Peter. Poor Peter. He had sat beside her body, broken and sobbing until the police came. He then refused to let them touch her, move her. His blue eyes were filled with hatred, on the verge of madness. He almost attacked the M.E that tried to examine her and it took 3 men to wrestle him down as they solemnly covered her body and carried her away. It seemed that now she truly was gone for good. The reality of it made him retch, his dry heaves echoing throughout the ballroom. There he sat beside the splash of blood where her body was. He looked like a broken man. Which he was. To lose someone that close to you, to lose your only friend in such a horrid way.. Even those as heartless as Donovan and Diana felt sympathy for the poor piano player. Now, Donovan and Diana was a different story all together. Diana was sitting on a plush leather couch which she DEMANDED for. A small disturbing smile played on her face. Like she actually found something about this gory situation amusing. With Alexis gone, the world would once again be her oyster as it rightfully was in her mind. And that included the pearl at it's center, Donovan. He would see the error of his foolish ways and come running to her. Or so she thought. Motive for murder perhaps? Donovan sat by the bar, nursing a glass of double scotch on the rocks. He was casually having a conversation about soccer to a rather pale and somewhat ratty looking bartender, acting as if the woman of his supposed dreams wasn't just lying dead covered in blood a mere 2 hours ago. He wasn't horrified, nor was he sad. He was just.. calm. Eerily so. Connor was sitting at one of the tables. He was..quiet. His eyes were vacant. He seemed horrified yet calm, sad but not crying. He seemed aloof. Neither here nor there. Alice sat curled in a ball by the corner of the room. Everyone was by themselves, all trying to figure out who did it. Aren't we all? Annie stared at the spot where Alexis had been, where poor Peter was sitting by. she was terrified. She knew everyone thought of her as the prime suspect and that was driving her insane. She had been blamed for many things before but murder? She couldn't possibly be capable.. Could she? She absent mindedly fidgeted with something around her neck. A delicate pendant of a fairy carrying a small diamond... Wait. What's this? That necklace, that necklace belong to Alexis! She never took it off, she believed it was a charm, a symbol of hope. Why did Annie have Alexis most prized possession? How did she get it? She absently played with it, attracting Diana's attention to the piece of jewelry that had belonged to the deceased. This was when the gates of somewhere dark and unpleasant opened up.

Diana started shouting, creating a ruckus. Rambling on and on about some necklace and jabbing an accusing finger at Rebel Annie. "What are YOU doing with Alexis' necklace? Everyone look! You sly fox! You killed her! Your wearing the proof around your neck!" Diana raced forward and ripped the necklace from Annie's throat, bruising her slightly. Diana turned and put the necklace up for display, a satisfied grin stuck on her obnoxious face. The necklace Alexis always wore. The necklace that Alexis was wearing.. just before she died. Rebel Annie stood and started sobbing, trying to no avail to get the necklace back. "No! Give it back! I didn't kill her! She gave it to me! Please, please give it back!" Now, by then everyone had gathered around to watch the drama that had unfurled, even the pale, rather ratty looking bartender. Diana snarled. "LIAR! As IF she was going to give YOU her most precious stone. I thought you would be better at lying Annie! Murderer! Just admit and be quick about it so we can go home." It was Connor who spoke up. "I don't think she did it. Annie's alot of things but not a murderer. Alexis loved her, always talked about her cause she saw so much of herself in Annie. But please Annie, for your sake, tell us the truth. Tell us why were you and Alexis were arguing earlier." Just a note before we go on, Connor had trouble saying Alexis' name. Whenever he said it it sounded pained, like his mind went to somewhere he just didn't want it to go. Memories of his beloved perhaps. Now where were we? Ah yes.. "Why bother?!" Said Diana. "She OBVIOUSLY did it! Why waste time on pointless explanations when we -" "Shut up Diana!" Connor snarled. Diana couldn't believe she just got snarled at. Annie looked around at all the accusing stares, scared out of her wits. Finally,she crumpled to the floor, her sob bubbling through her speech as her story was told. Turns out that Rebel Annie had come to the party that night with a plan of leaving. Leaving for good. Running away from the stage play that was her life. She wanted to be free, and that freedom was in 3 bags and a few thousand dollars she had stolen from her father's safe. All of which was sitting outside the ballroom. Alexis had found out somehow and tried stopping her. Said that doing this would not bring freedom, it would just bring about more running. She would be running her entire life. You couldn't run from you family name, but you could change the way others saw you. Alexis wanted to help. Wanted to give Annie another chance but Annie wouldn't hear of it. She didn't want her help and that's why they were fighting earlier. Alexis had given the necklace to Annie as a symbol for a fresh start. "Take it. This gave me hope when there was none. It helped me. Let it help you now." Alexis had said to Rebel Annie. "LIAR! You expect us to believe that?!" Diana spat. Diana was being the shrew that she truly was. Connor shouted over her. "I believe Annie. She didn't kill Alexis." Diana, who was on the brink of fury screamed and yelled. "How can you possibly believe her?! Your fiance is dead and your standing there DEFENDING the prime suspect! Or is that because you have a reason to protect her?? You don't seem all that shook up about your dead girlfriend Connor. For all we know YOU did it! For all we know you were IN ON IT! You outsiders probably planned the whole thing! Get Alexis out of the picture, swipe her fortune and run away together with Annie! Have I called you bluff Connor? I bet I have!" Connor strode up to Diana, his face a violent purple and slapped her hard across that much deserving face of hers. Finally someone managed to shut her up. "BE QUIET! HOW DARE YOU!! I LOVED HER! I never cared about her riches! It was her I wanted! A part of me just died tonight! HOW DARE YOU! And your one to talk! Everyone knew how much you hated Alexis. Jealousy is an ugly thing Diana, and jealousy that turns into rage is murderous." Diana stared at Connor in disbelief and fear. Right then Donovan walked up to her, drunk of course, and said "Ah..my dear, it's sweet of you to think I was worthy enough to kill for but I still think your somewhat of a witch. Or a whore..I can't decide. And plus, I don't like sleeping with a madwoman. Now that we know who killed the bitch(Actually, no one had a clue) can we please go home? I'm tired." Connor lunged forward, punched him in the mouth and broke 2 of Donovan's picture perfect teeth, blood spilling for the second time tonight. "Don't ever call Alexis that again! Just cause she turned you down and embarrassed you does NOT give you the right! Did you do it Donovan?! DID YOU KILL THE WOMAN I LOVED?! Donovan shouted back "I wouldn't waste the time outsider! That's all you are right?! An outsider who doesn't belong! A dog that is more than capable of killing!" Donovan then spat at Connor as Connor grabbed Donovan's thousand dollar silk shirt, ready to rip him to pieces. All hell broke loose then. Connor and Donovan went head to head, Diana started screaming and shrieking for no apparent reason and Annie rushed up to try and get the now winning Connor off Donovan. Clarice had scampered off to call for police assistance.

The ballroom echoed in chaos. Chairs flying, tables toppling. Peter, who had been sitting alone, grieving in a corner was the one who stopped everything. It started with him whispering. Whispering turned into mumbling, mumbling turned into shouting. No one paid any attention to him, all too engrossed in their petty drama. That is, until he screamed. Now, his scream was something to talk about. People said it was so loud that it echoed throughout the city and there are even old maids who claim to hear that very same chilling scream coming from the now abandoned ballroom on the anniversary of Alexis' death every year. Back to the story shall we? Or rather, Alexis' story. Peter's scream turned everyone into gargoyles. Silent. Unmoving. That was the first time anyone had ever seen those elegant pale fingers of his tremble. Donovan broke the silence. "What the hell is your problem? Screaming like a mad man! If you have nothing to say then I suggest you just sit there and sob while we -" Peter cut him off. "I did it. I killed her." He said, barely a whisper but carrying throughout the ballroom. Silence dawned on the ballroom a second time. It lasted what seemed like a lifetime before the morbid truth was told. For the first time that night. Peter had always loved Alexis as more than just best friends. Always been too afraid of telling her. He didn't know which would hurt more if he told her, facing her rejection, or never having the relationship they had now ever again. But it didn't matter cause he was going to stay her closest friend. It's not like he minded it. No one knew Alexis better than he did and soon he came to believe that they were meant to be, that they would end up together. All he had to do was wait and until that time came he had his music. His 'wife' until Alexis came and took it's place. Or so he thought. When she met Connor, Peter wasn't the least bit worried. She had had her fair share of men and this was just another one of her adventures. But it was different with Connor. When she talked about Connor to him, her eyes lit up. The same way they did when Peter played for her. It was a tell tale sign that she was in love and a tell tale sign of warning to Peter. Peter thought he was the only one who deserved that look and no one else, especially not some commoner. But he put up with this, knowing that soon Alexis would be his and his alone again. Imagine his shock, his absolute horror, when she told him that Connor had asked her to marry him.. and she had say yes. They were planning to run away and live happily ever after. They were leaving it all behind.. The mansions, the money, him. The thought of not having her, having to suffer to the usual ridicule alone was.. an unbearable thought. She was his reason for staying, his reason for sanity. he had until the end of the night to convince her to stay and he took the opportunity while everyone was in the garden to plead his case. They started arguing, shouting, Alexis on the verge of crying. As a last resort to keep her from leaving, he grabbed a steak knife off the table. Threatened to slit his wrist, saying that if she wasn't there anymore then he might as well die before this God awful blue blooded society did it for him. She stopped him, pleaded with him and promised not to leave. After they were both calm she said that Connor and herself would find another way. She wasn't about to leave Peter alone but she was going to marry Connor no matter what. She wanted Peter to be the best man. As she hugged him she said into his hair "Peter, I love him. I've never loved anyone the way I do him. Oh Peter, I've found the one. I finally feel whole." Upon hearing this, being held in her embrace, Peter's world crumbled before him. She had never said that before. EVER. Even if she stayed, she'd be gone to him and he would have to spend the rest of his day watching his best friend, his true love, in the arms of another. This thought horrified him. His eyesight started fading and he saw everything in a brilliant shade of jade. He remembered blacking out and when he finally came to, Alexis was lying dead. The haunting beauty that she was.

After his confession, everyone stood around him, silent. Connor broke down for the first time tonight and started crying silently in Annie's arms. He had lost the one thing he cared for. His world had been taken away from him. Annie held on to him for dear life. She too had lost something dear tonight. Alexis was the only one who cared for her and it angered Annie that it took her death to figure that out. A sad realisation broke out amongst the guest that night. They thought Peter was grieving over the loss of his friend, when fact was he was grieving over the loss of a friend, a friend HE had taken away from this world. Who knew those elegant, talented fingers that that amazed Alexis, the same fingers that she praised and adored time and time again would be the instruments of her death. There's a certain cruelty in irony isn't there?

Now, years after this grim incident, it is said that Diana ended up marrying a man for his wealth. She thought she finally managed to get her oyster and a very handsome pearl as well. All she deserved. But what she did not bargain for was this man's disturbing fetishes and constant verbal abuse. Some say she became mad and murdered him in one of their 'sessions' whereas other's whisper about how she had an affair with a younger man who in turn left her sad and miserable. Clarice was probably the one person unaffected by what had happened. No one truly knows what role she played that night, no one really certain about the story behind her theatrical crying. She continued life, marrying a wealthy man and showing up and all the extravagant blue blood functions. Donovan was rumoured to have gambled away all his trust fund money and now, to his horror, had to earn his money the old fashion way. Which proved difficult for him because he was as useful as a horse without legs. He had put on weight, had a beer belly and thinning hair and was married to a woman who constantly cheated on him. But he of course could not leave her for she was where the money to maintain that beer belly of his was coming from. Connor still was not married. He was now a successful businessman earning millions. He who had served at high society parties now turned down a hundred a day, not wanting to have anything to do with the society that, in his mind, killed his beloved. The only person that he kept close contact with was Rebel Annie, though she was no longer a rebel. She left her family name and made a name for herself, opening a home for troubled youth, in memory of the only one who believed in her, the one that saved her. She wore a necklace of a fairy holding a diamond which she never took off. There were whispers that Connor and Annie were in love. Perhaps. Perhaps they might find their happy ending's in each other. Peter was released from jail under the insanity plea. He spent his freedom composing a masterpiece named Alexis. A haunting music piece that awed everyone. This was his apology. He also made a last request. He had gone back to the ballroom where everything happened. He wrote a make shift letter on the walls. He had written that he hoped that Connor would find it in his heart to forgive him for what he had done, even though he knew he didn't deserve it. Peter then slit his wrist and died silently in that very same ballroom, leaving nothing behind except for a music sheet that was meant for Connor, and a piece of crimson satin belonging to his love.

The End.