My First.

I first had the itch to get one abut 5 years ago. I didn't know much about it at all at the time, except for the hideous misconception that people who had them were 'bad'. I wondered if I was bad too, or weird for wanting one.Then I started pondering of what I should get. I asked my dad's permission. He told me to research and pray before I do something I was going to regret, so I did. I researched and fell in love with the art of tattooing. The history, the cultures, the stories mesmerized me. I couldn't get enough. I knew so much about it, made me want one even more. Till today, I say it was my love of tattoos that made me truly appreciate and fall in love with art. I was never an artsy fartsy person. Perhaps it was just cause I hadn't found that one medium that could truly draw me in. But one day I saw this piece on this guys arm; It was fantastic, colourful with that contradictory element which I love so much. Sadistic yet quirky. I wanted to know where he got the inspiration for such a tattoo, and found out it was actually a painting by an artist. I quickly Google-d this artist, started looking at artist like him.. and the rest I guess you could say was history.

The idea definately evolved over the years. It went from being just one word, to having a script. Went from Kanji to Hebrew to Sanskrit till it finally became Tengwar (elvish)

The word was faith. My faith in my fellow men, which was both my strength and my weakness. My strength because I had faith in people when no one else did. I never judged them. I chose to see the best in them, gave them the benefit of the doubt that many of us never receive. But it was truly my weakness because some would abuse that trust I had in them. Knew I would forgive them; so making the same mistake wasn't an issue cause they knew I'd forgive them. It gets harder and harder to have faith when one keeps abusing it so. My Faith in God, Which was my all. My principals and beliefs and my convictions all revolved around His teachings and I thank Him for that. And that is why I KNOW this was not a mistake. I do not regret it. Not now, not ever. It came out beautifully, more amazing than I imagined.

Thank you Tanith, Kirstie, JonJon, and Honey for being there. It meant alot to me.

Now may I present to you:

FAITH

My Strength, My weakness, My all.

(August 4th 2010)

LONG Overdue.

2009 came and went. It's a brand new day, brand new year. More storms and bright shiny days. to come. And I can't wait.

In rewind:
Thinking back to 2008 and realising how much has happened since then and 2009 is mind blowing. Did all that really happen only within a year?

New weirdo's to call my friends. And reconnecting with old ones.
I've been fortunate enough to meet a plethora of wonderful characters. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that its only been less than a year since I met Tanith. My 1st impression of her wasn't a good one, I thought she didn't much care for me but how did that change. Through this tall, big feet British Malay I got the pleasure of meeting and becoming close friends with Kirstie(Fernando), Rekha, Shoba, and so many more of her random friends. With them I had many late night adventures and found new concert buddies.

2009 also allowed me to meet Amanda Anne Felix, Divanesh Chandra, Preveent and Nadia. We banded together to make Tiki Night and have been friends ever since. I who originally thought Diva and Manda were older than me was surprised to know they were in fact lepas SPM. They make me smile daily and although Diva can be loud and well, Diva-ish at times, his still one of kind. Through this loud bloody Indian and my little bimbo, I met Roshini and Vidya and Suhaib and Sandra. Roshini will never fail to make adorable remarks which never fail to warm you heart. Geourgues Vidya and her smart wit. And because of them I can now proudly say yes, I do have Indian friends! From Klang even! (Doesn't make me any less racist though lol)

I rekindled some flamed friendships and through those I got even more new friends. Jilly. She's matured and changed thank God. Still needs a knock on the head now and again but who doesn't. Through her I met Aaron Jay. Haha, just thinking of him makes me giggle. His pranks, his cheeky glint in his eyes, his straight serious face when telling the most unbelievable of stories and the kinship I feel with him, both of us coming from bizarrely similar family backgrounds.

Amer. My form 3 class mate. Always late, always sleeping, always eating. I was thrown into a class I hated in from 3 and that skinny idiot made it bearable, just by snoring slightly beside me everyday. My English and Science teacher used to call him Sleeping Beauty. If I had finished my English and science work fast I would just do his as well if I was that bored. Our teacher would look, know my handwriting and I'd just say "Miss, even if he was awake he's still copy my work so no difference haha." She's say I have a point and we both would let him continue sleeping.
Atiqah. Met her during basketball and became I became fast friends with this senior of mine as we both came uber early and was my nasi lemak buddy. I haven't seen either of them for almost 2 years and hanging out with them was a WONDERFUL breath of fresh air. The late nights I've been spending with them, the 3 of us making mini adventures of our own in that one month will never be forgotten.

I randomly started a conversation with Caleb Khew one day and we've been friends ever since. With, sarcasm, bloody cheap idiot but is an excellent driver when there's free fast food and awesome possum taste in music. There are still some people who cannot believe I'm somewhat close to him since his such a stonner. What the heck do you guys have in common/what do you guys talk about are the usual questions when I tell them I was watching a movie or had dinner with that unholy bum. He calls me home wrecker/google maps/ googlemapshomewrecker/ love guru and drives me up the wall sometimes, but his lovable in his own annoying way.

Fresh Starts. New Adventures.
Aljer found someone who drives him mad in a good and bad way. He thinks I don't really approve but I do and my concern isn't about Alan's past or indesgrecions; I couldn't be bothered as long as he treats Aljer-kins proper.

Many firsts. I rode on an elephant, fed it, pet a sheep, came face to face with a wild monkey who decided to say hi, started learning to wear makeup, started my long overdue return to Catholic church (I'm still a protestant, but I've always missed the awe and little girl comfort and safety mass used to give me) became more vocal about my political, social, and religious views, all of which have been churning in my head, waiting to come out and be heard.

Survived by myself. Dad went home to Sabah and although I miss him everyday it comforts me to know that his happy and I'm proud of myself for holding down the fort all on my own despite certain unfortunate mishaps.

I got robbed. Came home to a buglar in my house who was more scared than I was. I wasn't scared, I was pissed. I was furious of the idea a random stranger going through my stuff. I thank God I knew self defense, that he didn't take anything, that he didn't have a knife, that he didn't leave any permanant damage; on my home or me.

What I'm most proud of? I've become less tolerant to bullshit. I took actions to get rid of the bad rubbish in my life. I'm tougher but still me. My faith in people not lost, but harder to earn or rather keep. The idea of losing friendships (as precious as it might have been) does not pain me anymore if it is for the best. I go out of my way for people or situations that deserve it. I choose my battles, my comrades, and my choices more wisely now.

Thank you Lord, for bringing the storm. You said I would weather it well, and that I would come out of it strong and renewed and I have. With you beside me to guide me, I am now able to face the next wave. I have truly been blessed within the good and the bad of this year. Thank you for this year Lord, it's been a blast.

Assume Not.

Do not assume to teach me the ways of the world, for I know more of its ways that you assume to. You shall advise, teach, but do not assume you are teaching an insolent child, for that I am not. Do not mistake my anger for a spoilt child's outbreak, for that will only enrage me more, making my loathing grow. My anger should be taken seriously, even though it is unlike yours. I may be fairer in years, but do not shun my experience, the events that have made up my life thus far.
Have you seen what my eyes have seen? Have you heard the sounds I have heard, both beautifully haunting and terrifying? Have you tasted what my lips, my tongue have? The sinfully sweet and horribly bitter? Have your hands touched the skin of the men, women and children I have? Have the same scents I have smelt caressed your nose as well?

I doubt it has, I doubt you know about any of it. The same can be said about myself in your shoes. But I do not assume to know your world, to know more than you. All I ask is for that same respect which I have given you, that of which you have failed to cherish or share.

So I say this. Do not assume you can teach someone about something they already know. Do not assume you know more about the world, for I shall surely rebuke you.

There is not right or wrong in our interpretation of the world and its ways.

Long overdue, cut short.

Okay so a big huge mush THANK YOU to all those of you who came through for me these past week or so. YOU GUYS ROCK MY SOCKS!

For those of you who didn't know, I recently came home to a thief who attempted to rob and attack me. He didn't get to do either thankfully cause in the end other than raiding my fridge, he didn't have time to steal anything (got time to eat no time to steal lol) cause I came home when I did and he tried running away whereby he tried attacking me but self defense classes paid off so he didn't nail his punches and ran. I am also now homeless cause my family will not let me live in my own home and I am now crashing at Maxxie's house.

Updates you say? Well now let's see.

1. I made a new (well, somewhat) friend! Her name be Amanda, she be amazing. (pic below).
   
2. Kishy-kins is officially an adult! 21 baby!
3. I'm the new, somewhat reluctant president of Rotaract.
4. My 19th! It was awesome! Spent the eve of with Mel & Tanith at an Arabian place, the day of with Manda and her family, and the night of with AbgBesar, Aljer, their boyfriends and Honey-chan. (pics below)
5. Pahang Trip. Met cute German guy, played with sheep and an assortment of animals and got bruised and battered from 4 wheel drive jungle trekking. Also got elbowed in the face by Honey but it way all good, it was worth it! (pics below)
6. Indian Cultural Night. Indians and drama go hand in hand. (pics below)
7. MTV World Stage. (pics below)
   

In regards to update number 3, I also decided to drop a bombshell and announce my new Vice. I know there is going to be a lot of people who are not going to be happy with my decision, some have already voiced it out to others but at this point, with the amount of work I have to do to fix this club, I can't afford to take care of other's feeling. I'm trying to ensure what's best for the club and this is what I believe is best. I need someone who I have faith can do work and pull through the stress. I know some might think it was a rash decision made in the spur of the moment, but that isn't the case. I've put plenty of thought into this and like I said yesterday, if you have a problem or questions about it come see me and I'll do my best to ease any worries you might have regarding this. You all said I can do this and you all have my back so this is my 1st act as president, so support me now, you didn't doubt I could be president, don't doubt me now.


Manda!

my 19th! (yes I sticker censored my boobies)

Pahang madness.


Indian Cultural Night. Spot the new Vice.

World stage, Hoobastank *faints*

Dude, You're Such A Girl.

Dude, I can swear I've never had a bad word against you(and the only shit I've had against you I told you about it to your face so dare you say otherwise) so my question is, after months of silence, you out of nowhere come and attack me with rumours and decide to be all close and cuddly with someone who YOU hated with the fury of hades.. you sakit mane?

Even she thinks you are behaving like a girl. And I couldn't agree more. You suddenly decide to hate me for no valid reason(PMS) and then go gossip worse than aunties, then decide it's your civic duty to 'warn' people that I'm the spawn of satan and I'm gonna murder all of them in their sleep, spread rumours which are so far from true that they fucking probably originated from Timbuktu, get involved in matters that have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, bitch about me some more to another bitch, act all friendly with me to my face and bitch two seconds later.. You're more of a girl than I am wei. Congratulations.

I'd suggest a sex change but I don't want my friend to become a lesbian cause she's dating you.

I'm not angry, I'm just confused why you PMS and take it out on me. But yea my advice to you is this: get your fact straight before you bitch so YOU don't look like a fool, you not happy with me you fucking come talk to me properly like a normal adult(since you claim to be one) and stop putting women folk to shame, we got the drama shit down already.